I once had a student admit their surprise when they saw me using props in class. “You can go so much deeper without the blocks and get the ‘full’pose, why are you using it?” I told her this was the full pose for me. Though it didn’t look ‘perfect’according to the book, I felt alive in it. I felt depth in it. I breathed, expanded, contracted and had a true connection to form and energy. Yoga is not about aesthetics, it is about alignment and sensation; physical, emotional, energetic, and consciousness. Every BODY aligns differently and under different circumstances every day. The practice becomes our willingness to arrive to what IS.

My oldest son once asked,“Mamma, why is it always called a practice,aren’t you ever going to get it perfect?” My humble response, “honey, I don’t ever want it perfect.” “But why, mamma?” I see my practice, of both asana (physical poses) and mindfulness, as one that is intended to bring evolution, transformation,and liberation. If it were perfect I would assume there is nothing else to reveal, and the mystery would vanish. I would become bored. If it were perfect, perhaps I’d have come to the end of a journey, but it is the journey where I find my curiosity, devotion and presence. Yoga and mindfulness are not an attempt to attain something else beyond myself, but rather an internal exploration leading me to a better understanding of my true nature. This true nature is ultimately the inherent part of Self that is perfect whole and complete. In my practice I challenge the edges of comfort and invite expansion into new territory, wether it is a new pose or wether it is is a deeper recognition of my samskaras (thought habits, triggers, reactions, attachments). It takes me to edge and inspires me to look beyond into the unknown and trust that there is space, possibility and experience waiting for me. My practice is a quality of living that grounds me in this time and space,with this thought,expression,breath and body. To practice is to embody the fruits of my steady awakening. As I see it, if it were perfect, I would have no room to grow. My son concluded our discussion, “Mamma, lets practice growing together forever, like hungry trees reaching to the sun.”

“The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells Wakan-Taka (the Great Spirit) and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.”

Black Elk – Oglala Sioux

I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday of gratitude; warm hearts, full bellies and nourished souls. May it continue to inspire you deeply in a manner that invites a daily practice of giving thanks.  My day was a perfect combination of play, nature and food and contemplation; simple and sweet, yet so fulfilling. We filled it with hikes and soccer games, snacking on pie and marshmallows between.  I took the time to clean house, build a new alter, set new intentions and pray to my guides and teachers and life experiences (good and bad) that have brought me to this mark in a long and beautifully unpredictable journey.  I also seemed to embody a grieving, a mourning for the Earth and gave particular attention to the grace of Gaia.  I felt a mourning of many people in the world; old and new, and I believe it is a result of change on the brink, a change that will unite us all a little closer, with an awakening that reminds us of our fundamental human connections.  A deeper gratitude was revealed.  I sat with sadness, yours, mine, the worlds; I took it in and I breathed out light!

It is easily assumed to be thankful for our family, friends, food, employment, and material possessions. These are elements within our lives we often take for granted and it is necessary to bring awareness and respect back to the aspects of our life that sustain us.  But ask yourself; what was before all of ‘that’, what is the root to those experiences?  YOU! Your essence, a perfect peace not yet touched by the presence of the material world; our intrinsic wholeness resting in a womb of possibility. If we want to practice gratitude for the things in our life, we must first recognize the channel that connects us to these things; the channel of our self and our own unique expression of divinity.  To love and honor yourself is not a practice of vanity, and should not be avoided out of shame or guilt or attachment to ego. It has taken me most of my lifetime to love myself,and there are still many days when my ‘self talk’ is anything but kind.  This, too, is a practice and a difficult one at that but I choose to remember, and I choose to help you remember.  I respect the power of nature, creation, the divine; the source that gives me both the human and soul experience.  If I deny the gift of myself gratitude and honor, then I deny my greatest gift.  I may not always be well liked by everyone,I may not always see my beauty and worthiness,but Creator does,and has given me breath, body, mind,and heart to feel my place among this world, and if Creator believes in me, then that is enough… to celebrate…every single day,every single moment! The Buddha says, “If you touch one thing with great awareness then you touch all things.”  If we love and honor ourselves, then we can truly love and honor the beauty we are grateful for in our lives.

Find pleasure and gratitude for not only the people and things in your life, but the quiet contemplation that fills the space between and the stillness that is the root of all things.  May you celebrate your own creation and your connection to source (what ever that is for you).  May you see yourself as nature and divine.  Meditate and contemplate: Sit with gratitude, as if it were a teacher taking you on a journey deep within. Rather than saying, “I am grateful for..….” Ask, what does gratitude feel like? Then embody it, feel it,  let it move through you,not attached to anything….as the essence of gratitude moves though you,then notice and feel, your essence,your Self as one…your self as Oneness.

Namaste,

Robin

A Lizard in my Pants:Reptilian Reflections

I was teaching Thursday night restorative, a class that has built its self beautifully on the foundation of doing very little and experiencing profound shifts in health and mindfulness from simple asana, dedicated intention and healing space. Though our attention is typically quick to move within and reconnect to our sacred wholeness, our class was otherwise engaged in the unexpected arrival of a tiny gecko who had claimed his spot in a crest of the white curtain. His charming and curious presence brought not only a serge of laughter (he could save you 10% or more on your yoga experience..thank you Ruth) but an opportunity for a collective awareness and inquiry. It seems as if he were our dristi, or focal point, we all gazed upon him with a sense of gratitude for the grace of nature and a compassion that seemed to naturally soften our eyes and open our hearts, melting the stressors we had carried in from the day. He was a reminder of the hidden gifts that can be so easily overlooked; a reminder that those things that we are different from can create a connection to our inherent goodness and Oneness.

I had made the mistake to assume he did not want to be inside on the curtain, for I considered if I were him, I’d likely find myself in the fig tree overlooking the orchid courtyard in the cool of the Autumn night. I scooped him into my palm, cupped him in his own gecko mudra and attempted to place him outside. However, he was quicker than I, and managed to find a path of his own, slipping out between careless fingers and into the rim of my overflowing sweater. I found a sacred pause and slowly began to disrobe, unsure of his where-a bouts. As I pulled my soft green armor over head, he was no where to be seen or felt. Again, I made an assumption he was free. I left the french doors open and invited in the brisk air, another gift of natures grace filling our contemplative space and proceeded with class.

Not long after students were settled into their restorative nests and as I was delivering the deeply mindful messages of the week I felt…..a wiggle….and a crawl…..IN my pants…on my inner thigh! YES, it was him!! I bit my tongue and didn’t squeal, as to keep the peace, but my hand, with a mind of its own, slapped him. With apprehension, I drew my waist line back and reached in, all the while still talking about the importance of acceptance and surrender, and pried the little guy from my leg. He didn’t move, and as he lay in my hand,seemingly dead, I felt awful. Continuing to teach, I walked him around the room with his limp body resting in the creases of my palm giving him Reiki and channeling my inner gecko in hopes to restore our new friend. Then, as if by magic, he flipped over like a wind-up toy and peered over the edge of my thumb and began doing his curious lizard push-ups. I took long, quick steps to the doors framing our gorgeous view and placed him down on the 100 year old steps, I said my apologies and bowed to him, Namaste, little gecko…go on your way.

He is a metaphor for our practice and a teacher disguised in padded hands and cool, scaled skin. From the shamanic perspective animals, when found in unusual places and circumstances, can provide insight into aspects of our lives that need further attention, recognition, contemplation and honor. Lizard totems are believed, by many, to be some of the most powerful spiritual messengers; symbols of change and new beginnings. In nature, lizards display their remarkable capacity of resilience by their unique ability to adapt to extreme temperatures; they have to be incredibly flexible to survive in the harshness of the desert. We,too, must honor the rough process of survival, trusting that our greatest challenges hold the potential for the greatest transformation. The gecko teaches us the importance to adapt, to overcome obstacles and approach our struggles with an inherent power that is aligned with the strength of nature. The gecko holds the knowledge of transformation and regeneration. He invites us to investigate our current perceptions and encourages us to shed old patterns, assumptions, and ways of living that prevent growth, renewal and possibility. The gecko asks, what are you attached to that is holding you back? He reminds us that to be free from the past, we must first be willing to let go and step outside of our dry shells that can no longer nourish our growth.

I find it no coincidence that this little critter made his way into this particular class because it is a devoted practice that invites the very type of transformation our gecko friend represents. After personal contemplation,I also find no coincidence that he some how managed to make his way to an unavoidable place in my awareness casting great detail and consideration into my current circumstances and personal evolution. He has been a powerful and insightful guide for me,and I offer his teachings to you as well.

Just ten minutes after I had placed him down on the cool bricks,I saw him back on the curtain right where he started, but this time with the knowledge and wisdom of a difficult journey that brought a sweet awakening.

Many blessings,

Robin Afinowich

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As October comes to an end we take with it a continuing practice of balance and step into a time of year that brings deeper, quieter and more intuitive contemplation and observation. Traditionally, the end of October is a very symbolic transformation; it is when the lighter half of the year ends and transitions into the darker half of the year. In the deep quiet and stillness comes the whisperings of intentions stirring like seeds within the womb of earth, embedded in a process of hidden growth that takes time, patience,  dedication and trust. It is believed to be a magical time of year when Gods and spirits are close to earth and therefore an auspicious time to create ceremony, sacrifice and healing on behalf of the new beginnings to come. It is a time of year when we celebrate and honor the souls that have begun their journey on a plain of existence different than ours.  Fall represents the middle of the seasons’ extremes; it is not the heavy heat that casts endless days of summer, nor is it the cold sleep of winter, but rather a reflective center that unites the two in an autumn sky blanketed with golden, moonlit nights.

This season is a delicate metaphor for the way we creatively compose our life from a place of center that holds the gem of presence. It is a powerful opportunity to refine our awareness and focus on deeper personal work; a subject of Self that is revealed through the true knowledge of a quiet mind and open soul. Just as fall is not summer or winter, presence is not past or future; it is the infinite possibility of expansion in the now. This space of infinite expansion is beyond concept, language or form and it is where the invisible hands of the universe are busy at work; creating, and transforming. Presence is a place where we do not fall into the track of reaction or fear, expectation or assumption.  Presence is a place where we harness our honest strength, freedom and authenticity. It is sacred place where we choose a life from the center of self that is aligned with an intuition that stems from the root of grace. Practicing presence is living with greater balance.  

It is a perfect time to dedicate space for meditation as well as creating your own unique fire ceremony and ritual. As we bring closure to October I invite you to take a seat and look within and BE the season of change through stillness, quiet contemplation, reflection and presence.

BE in your center, Live in balance

Robin Afinowich